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Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Needs of Men & Women---Some Differences

I found the following excerpt from a book by Willard F. Harvey, Jr., to be helpful and insightful. If we can understand and recognize that we're different than our spouse...not only physically, but in the way our brain and emotions are wired, indeed our very outlook on life is poles apart, it will take us a long way in honing our communication skills and living peaceably together.

It's evident to any individual involved in a marriage or close relationship with someone of the opposite sex, that vast differences abound. But what exactly are they, and how can we utilize that knowledge? Take a look at the following overview and see if it helps shed some light on your own situation.

Willard F.Harley, Jr., "His Needs, Her Needs", Fleming H. Revell Company, Tarrytown

Man's five most basic needs in marriage:

1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouse
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration

Woman's five most basic needs in marriage:

1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment

Concerning sexuality: men experience arousal and climax with relative ease; for women it's just the opposite.


1. He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and kisses at every opportunity.
2. He meets her need for intimate conversation by talking with her at the feeling level.
3. He meets her need for honesty and openness by looking her in the eye and telling her what he really thinks.
4. He meets her need for financial support by firmly shouldering the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe his family.
5. He meets her need for family commitment by putting his family first. He commits his time and energy to the moral and intellectual development of his children.


1. She meets his need for sexual fulfillment by becoming an excellent sexual partner to him.
2. She meets his need for recreational companionship by developing mutual interests with her husband.
3. She meets his need for her attractiveness. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful.
4. She meets his need for domestic support by creating a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet.
5. She meets his need for admiration and respect by understanding his value and achievements more than anyone else.

---------End of quote---------

We can all learn from the second to be irresistible to our mate. Do you want to meet please your husband or wife? Then take seriously the needs of your partner and learn what he or she needs to be more complete. As you endeavor to meet their needs, you'll be amazed at how willing they will be to meet yours. Giving never ceases to have it's own rewards. The Word wasn't just talking about finances when it states that we're to give, pressed down, shaking together, and running over, and men shall give back unto us. That's a promise from the God of heaven, and His promises always hold true!

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