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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dealing with Change...Your Spouse and Their Dreams

I talked about personal change or the curves that life throws at you last time we chatted, but how about change that comes from those closest to you?

I don't know about you, but I've found that to be some of my most challenging moments. When someone who knows me better than anyone else tries to rock my 'life' boat with change, my hackles tend to raise a little faster than if it's just an acquaintance, or even a friend.

I've experienced this a number of times in my life. My husband, Allen, is someone who does NOT like life to be stagnant, and thrives on change. He's the man who's refurbishing our 51' sail boat so we can start traveling extensively, and he's stated he doesn't care if we 'never come back', LOL! Now I enjoy traveling, and sailing is fun, but I also very much enjoy my home, my yard, my kitties and my extended family. Oh...and somehow I don't think my horse is going to fit on the boat.

So what happens when two desires and two sets of goals clash? Does one have to give up their dream or their desire completely, and give way to the other? Not necessarily, although I'm sure we've all done that to one degree or another. That's where we begin to find out what our marriage is really made of. Are we willing to compromise and give for the sake of the other?

I know my hubby won't demand that I live on our boat forever, but nor should I demand that we only take it out for 2-3 weeks at a time, when he's longing to go for months. We'll both need to give to some degree, and I might just have to bend a little more than him, as I can easily take my laptop aboard, still do my writing, and keep in touch with my family by phone and email. We're not getting any younger, and I have to remind myself that we won't be physically able to handle a large sail boat in say, 15 more years. Once out legs get a bit wobbly, or our site isn't as sharp (you get my meaning...we get OLD, LOL!) I'll have plenty of time to curl up in my comfy house.

Do you have an area in your marriage where you find yourself in disagreement with your spouse on a regular basis. Are your goals and dreams in constant conflict? Ask the Lord to give you insight into your loved one's heart...that you might begin to see life through their eyes, and ask that He do the same thing for them, with you. Try to put yourself in their place, and at least for a time, believe in their dreams and help to attain them. Believe me, the rewards might far exceed what you expect!!!


The Koala Bear Writer said...

Definately a touchy topic. My hubby and I have had a few talks on our dreams and what we want to do... luckily we agree on most stuff, but we've also compromised on things, like we stay here so that he can finish his degree before I apply for my second degree... Now we're trying to balance where we want to live and where he should apply for jobs. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

Kathleen said...

Very good blog and I sure can relate to it. It is all about give and take, it should be equal but a lot of times it's not but with Gods' help we all can get through it.

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