Six Marriage Killing Lies

6 Marriage Killing Lies

From the book "The Lies We Believe" by Dr. Chris Thurman

1. It's All Your Fault.- Secular Truth: It takes two to tango. Marriage problems are rarely one person's fault.-

Theological Truth: Romans 2:1: You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

2. If It Takes Hard Work, We Must Not Be Right for Each Other.- Secular Truth: Hard work in marriage is the norm, not the exception. It means you and your partner need each other's help to work out personality flaws and weaknesses.

- Theological Truth: 1 Corinthians 7:28b: But those who marry will face many troubles in this life.

3. You Can and Should Meet All My Needs. - Secular Truth: No one person can meet all your needs. Your needs can best be met through a variety of sources. -

Theological Truth: Philippians 4:19: And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

4. You Owe Me. - Secular Truth: Your spouse doesn't really "owe" you anything for what you do. You do what you do because, at some level, you choose to do it. You aren't owed anything for what you choose to do.-

Theological Truth: 1 Peter 5:5b: Clothe yourselves with humility because "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

5. I Shouldn't Have to Change.- Secular Truth: Marriage requires change. People who refuse to change, stagnate themselves and their marriages. The important issue is deciding what we need to change about ourselves and what we don't.-

Theological Truth: Hebrews 12:14a: Make every effort to live in peace with all and to be holy.

6. You Should Be Like Me.- Secular Truth: Every person is unique and can't be a carbon copy of anyone else. It would be boring if it weren't that way.-

Theological Truth: 1 Corinthians 12:18-19: But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?