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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Being a Generous Wife

I've posted little snippets from the Generous Wife site before and have another couple of excellent thoughts to share from there. But first...a quick update:

Things are going well on my book, but I'd LOVE to get the word out to retail stores a bit more. If you'd like to help promote my book, it would be wonderful if you'd stop by your local Christian bookstore and see if they're carrying it. If not, ask if they'd consider it? They might try to get you to order one, but tell them you're not wanting to order it, you'd like to see it first or that you have friends or family that are interested in a copy, but you already have one....or whatever is true for you if you don't care to order one for any reason. Most stores simply need to have a book title brought to their attention and see interest expressed, and they'll carry it. Thanks for your help everyone!

Now for the Generous wife tips of the day----

Because men generally do not have as much contact with their children as moms usually do, they can feel on the outside of family life. They would really appreciate any help in staying in touch with the kids (like telling them about what is going

Guys understand that women are better at that "relationship stuff" :) and they do lean on us to help them build their relationships with their children. (A funny story: when my sister-in-law was a little girl and rather "creative" in her art work, her mother would always whisper to her dad, as he walked in the door, what her art work was about. That way Dad could say, "Oh, honey, what a lovely giraffe!" She always felt so special that her dad understood her art work. In later years, I'm sure she appreciated her mom and dad for understanding a

There is also a need for respect from the family. Men have an innate need for respect and a need to be respected as a father and head of

Another stressor for them is they often feel ignored. Kids tend to get the lion share of the attention (which is understandable given the level of care they need), but our guys need a little attention too. Making time for him personally and encouraging family time can fill that need.

Generous tip: Consider having a date night and a family night. You might not be able to do this weekly, but try to set up time for you as a couple and for your family. Use that time to build him up.


Several of the guys shared about the pull between work and home. They voiced the need for understanding over the conflict between work and family needs. They want to make time for family, but their job is what supports their family and it needs to have appropriate attention. It's not always easy to take time off for family things or call from work (when they do call, please realize that they may have to keep it short or that they may be interrupted). Basically it was a plea for understanding that their day is complicated too and they need to invest in their work.

A spin off of that was a need for a warm welcome and not having to face responsibilities or troubles the moment they get home. Some even wanted/needed a bit of quiet time when they first got home from work to make the jump from work to family.

Jeanette's generous tip: I have found that my man feels loved, wanted, needed and accepted when I walk out and meet him in the driveway when he gets home from work. I don't really ask how his day was or tell him about mine. I just say, "Hi, honey. I'm glad you're home." And give him a kiss and hug. I let him lead in any conversation or if I perceive he had a wearisome day, I might tell him an anecdote about the kids or the pets or something like that. It is amazing how welcomed and loved it seems to make him feel.

I don't do it every day so that it doesn't become just a routine. If I am really busy when I hear him pull up, I just shout that dad is home and one or more of the 4 boys goes out to greet him. It could be the 20 year old or the 6 year old or any and all of them in between. We have done this for years and it lets dad know that we feel incomplete without him among us.

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