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Saturday, November 25, 2006

Part Two: Women & Men, More Differences

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is just around the corner. We're deep in the throes of building our house & praying our old home sells soon. The market has softened and house sales are down, but we're trusting the Lord to take care of our needs and bring the right buyer at just the right time.

We've had a sprinkling of snow at our new house site the last couple of days, with several inches forecast for Monday or Tuesday. It's apt to slow down the application of the siding and other outside work, but thankfully we'll be ready for insulation in another week & work can progress inside.

I've been promising the second part in the post on Women vs Men, the differences, so here it is... and I'll be posting more on marriage later. Please keep checking back & please pass the link to this site on to your friends!

John Gray, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HarperCollins Publishers, New York
Men value power, competency, efficiency and achievement; looking to prove themselves, develop power and skills. "Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results." More interested in "objects" and "things" rather than people and feelings. Achieving goals is very important - to prove competency. Rarely talk is about his problems unless he needs expert advice. When his wife talks about problems he is quick to offer advice, to solve the problem, to fix it.

Women value love, communication, beauty, relationships. Spend time supporting, nurturing. Sense of self defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships which are more important than work and technology. Intuitive, anticipating the needs of others. For women the sign of love is to offer help without being asked.

For men, the offer of help suggests he isn't competent, she doesn't trust him to do it himself. "For women, offering advice and construction is an act of love."

Men feel better solving problems. Women feel better talking about problems.

When men are under stress, they tend to want to be alone, to think about how they can solve their problem. When a women is stressed, she wants to talk it out; talking about the problems causes her to feel better.

When a woman talks to a man about her problems he feels she is holding him responsible. When a man doesn't talk about his problems his wife feels he is ignoring or rejecting her.

Men need to know they are needed. Women need to know they are cherished.
Women express feelings, men communicate information.

Men need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
Women need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.

Men typically handle arguments with "Fight" and "Flight" - intimidation or become silent; women with "Fake" and "Fold" - pretend there's no problem, or take all the responsibility for it.

Men think they score big points with big gifts; women score all gifts the same.
Women intuitively feel the needs of others and expect men to do the same.

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